Friday, February 3, 2012

Just Call Me Derek Hough-N-Pough

To add insult to injury in my weight-loss scheme, my co-worker has convinced me to sign up for...of all things...DANCE CLASSES.

"Even Doctor Oz says it's great for you!  It helps both your mind AND your body!"

In other words, "Get Sane While You Get Thin."  

I need these classes.

In the worst possible way.

I started them last Friday night, and have to go back tonight (hey, I spent $100 on these classes, I might as well continue!).  They are held at a local community college in their Community Outreach program.  One hour of it has Country and Western Dancing firmly centered in its sites, and the second hour of it is Ballroom.

Plus, the first hour of the class is chock-full of people.  There are like twelve couples, three little old lady sisters (did you ever catch an episode of The Nanny with Fran Drescher?  The little old lady sisters look like Fran's grandmother on that show.  With bigger teeth.), another very tall, very thin older woman who, apparently, has been taking classes there for YEARS (and it shows), and then me.

Being from Oklahoma, if there's one dance move I can do, it's a Two-Step.  It's in our blood.  Try doing it with the three sisters who aren't from this country, spoke little-to-no-English (they spoke some kind of -ese: Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, I couldn't really tell), and laughed at me the entire time.  With some kind of rancid fish on their breath.

Or maybe the one I was dancing with was laughing from embarrassment as the other two laughed at her for dancing with the big American lummox.  I dunno.

And that's pretty much all we did the entire hour.  Sure, we danced the Electric Slide.  ONCE.  The rest of the time was the Two-Step.

Once that hour was up, everyone but me and one other couple stayed, and then another couple showed up. So, yes, it was me and two couples.  

Yea me.

Fortunately, I found out that the other "couple" that stayed weren't a couple at all.  Just like my co-worker and I are close friends, so are they.

Oh, didn't I mention why my co-worker--the one who convinced me to go--wasn't there?

Yeah.

She tore up her knee the Sunday before the class started.

So not only was I there alone, but I didn't know a soul.

It's hard to describe the entire thing without using the word "cluster" in there somewhere.  But on the upside....  Y'all, I can now FOXTROT!  w00t!

If you've ever wanted to know how to do a basic Foxtrot, it's simply a reverse half-twist of the Two-Step.  In a Two-Step, you step with your left foot, slide your right foot up to it, then take two more normal steps.  A Foxtrot is where you take two normal steps, then, using your left foot, step to the side and then slide your right foot over to it.

Make sense?

Yeah, it took me a while to catch on, too.

And THEN the instructor gave us two more moves (the "Promenade" and the "How to get out of a corner") after we got that down.

Yeah, it took me a LONG while to catch on, too.

In the end, I did get to dance about three-quarters of the time with the other lady who was there.  Her friend--who has been taking classes longer than she has--was gracious and allowed me to learn the steps with a partner.  

I'm ready to go on Dancing with the Stars now.

KIDDING!

But I do need to go get ready for the Waltz tonight.  I'm actually looking forward to it!

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