Sugar Rush

So this week marks the beginning of the birthday parties for the four Cub Reporters.  My 9-year-old turns 10 this week (holy COW I feel old!), and, as I promised myself, I wouldn't necessarily watch my diet on the days of the Cubs' parties.

Now, I don't know if you've figured this out about me yet, but I am a serious planner.  I mean, I do everything I can to plan out the kids' birthday parties at least a year in advance.  They know this, and they're OK with it.  And they also know that, once they've decided on a theme for the party, it's written in stone.  This gives me a year to think and plan and gather stuff for the party.  And, trust me, after several of the parties we've had, I've needed that year to plan for it.

Also, when I've said that I need at least a year to plan for it, I'm not kidding.  My son's birthday party theme this year is M&Ms.  Several months ago, he informed me that he's decided what theme he wants next year, so that I could start gathering the stuff he wants to be able to do.  My one and only daughter has already planned what she wants not only this year, but also next year.  

I love my Cubs.  They're just awesome.

So, this past weekend, we had my 9yo's birthday party (he doesn't actually turn 10 until later this week).  And it was AWESOME.

First off, we had several different M&M themed games to play.  Because he's really into racing, we couldn't pass up playing M&M Kart on the Wii.  That tournament got a little vicious, but it was so cool.  And while kids were playing this, some were in the boys' room playing the M&M Beach Party Wii game. 

yes, my kids are spoiled.  we have two Wiis.  deal with it.

Anyway, they also played outside on the trampoline, had M&M relay races, and a Guess The Number of M&Ms In This Jar (winner got to take home the jar--much to his mother's chagrine).  Typical games, I know, but they still had fun.  Prizes were Medium-sized bags of M&Ms in a variety of flavors.

As for the food, well...  It was all M&M themed.  And all of it was bad for you.  But I don't care.  :)

To start with, I made the 1-point cupcakes that I told y'all about several months ago.  Then, I put a little mock buttercream on it (recipe to follow), and then covered them in one color of M&Ms.  Yes, this means that I did take the time out to separate what ended up being three large bags of M&Ms into colors.  Only the center one of each cupcake had the "m" showing.  The others were all the blank side.  Hey, I tried to make them look like M&Ms.  They were a hit, though.

Mock Buttercream (Typically, buttercream frosting has Crisco in it.  This one doesn't, so is considerably lighter on the fat content.  I made up for it with the use of the M&Ms...  I got this from epicurious.com)

Ingredients:

2 sticks unsalted, sweet cream butter, room temperature (IMPORTANT!!!!  DO NOT MICROWAVE IT!)

1 cup white sugar

1 cup skim milk

1/4 cup sifted all-purpose flour (not a typo)

1 1/2 tbsp clear vanilla (although you can use real if you're not worried about keeping this white)

Directions:

1. In a small saucepan over medium-high heat, combine a quarter cup of the milk, the flour, and the vanilla, and whisk until there are no lumps.  Then, start adding in the rest of the milk (WHISK CONSTANTLY!), and cook until it comes to a low boil.  Reduce the heat to medium-low, and--still whisking (it'll feel like your arm is about to fall off)--wait for this to thicken.
2. Immediately remove the pan from the heat, but keep stirring for another minute or two.  If it's lumpy (and sometimes, I'll admit, it is), pour it through a strainer to get the lumps out.  If you've whisked it fast enough, though, it'll be lump free.  Anyway, set it aside and let it come up to room temperature (about an hour or so).  If you're in a hurry, put it in the refrigerator or the freezer.
3. Cream the butter on medium speed in a Kitchen-Aid for roughly 3-4 minutes.  It will get very light in color.  Add in the sugar, and bump up the speed to HIGH for another 5 or 6 minutes.  You're looking for the sugar to dissolve into the butter.
4. Slow the speed of the mixer down to LOW, and SLOWLY pour the milk mixture into the butter.  When it's all in there,  increase the speed to medium and beat it until the frosting is light and fluffy (roughly 3-5 minutes).
5. It's ready to use at this point!

So, I used this as the frosting for the cupcakes. I have no idea how much it is in terms of calories, but it's got to be lighter than the one with Crisco mixed into it.  Also, it's not as sweet.  Which was a good thing, as the M&Ms most definitely are.

Next on the list of foods I had available is something that I could have died and gone to Heaven a very happy man after I had a lot some.

M&M Chocolate Fudge (I adapted this from one I found on foodbuzz.com.)

Ingredients:

12 ounces semi-sweet Hershey's chocolate chips (DO NOT use milk chocolate chips!!!)

1 14oz can sweetened condensed milk

1 tsp real vanilla (I used mine that I made with brandy.  Ooooh YUM!)

1 tbsp butter

1 cup mini M&Ms

Extra mini M&Ms to put on top when you're done

Directions:

1. In a medium sauce pan over medium-high heat, add the chocolate chips and sweetened condensed milk.  Allow the chocolate chips to melt, but stir it occasionally so they blend together well and the bottom doesn't burn.  
2. Add the vanilla and the butter, and mix until the butter has disappeared and melted into the chocolate (won't take very long).
3. Remove from heat, and let cool for a few minutes, or your M&Ms will melt too quickly.  When you don't burn yourself when you touch the fudge, you're ready to go on.
4. Add in the M&Ms, and stir.  It'll be hard, because the fudge has already begun to set.  But that's OK.
5. Pour the mixture into a 9x9 baking dish that you've prepared by lining with parchment paper.  Spread it out evenly.
6. Immediately sprinkle your reserved mini M&Ms on top, and press them down into the fudge so that they'll stick.
7. Place the whole thing in the refrigerator, and let cool completely.
8. Remove and cut into bite-sized pieces.

The fudge will be dense, yet smooth.  You'll love it.  I guarantee it.  And it is NOT low-cal!!!!

Also on the menu were three different party mixes that I made with M&Ms.  I basically made these up, but I know they're all variations of other party mixes I've made in the past.  No telling where I first saw them.  I also did my best to use the same cereals in all three so that I didn't have to worry about buying nine different types of cereal...

Chubby Hubby Party Mix  (yes, it's a riff on Ben & Jerry's ice cream, but it works.  And it works well!)

Ingredients:

6 tbsp butter

3 tbsp sugar

2 cups Rice Chex

2 cups Corn Chex

2 cups Crispix

1 cup Peanut Butter M&Ms

1 cup Pretzel M&Ms

1 cup dry roasted nuts (any flavor--I used peanuts, but feel free to use whatever you want)

1 lb chocolate chips

2-3 tbsp canola oil

1 tsp salt*

Directions:

1. In a large microwaveable bowl, mix the cereals and nuts.  Set aside.
2. In a small microwaveable bowl, microwave the butter (uncovered) on full power for 40 seconds, or until melted.  Stir in salt and sugar.  Pour over the cereal mixture, and stir to make sure it's all evenly coated.
3. Microwave the cereal mixture at full power for 5-6 minutes, stirring really well every two minutes.
4. In another microwaveable bowl, microwave the chocolate chips and the canola oil until it's all melted.  Stir every 20 seconds to smooth out the chocolate, as well as prevent burning.  Pour over the cereal mixture, and mix to coat.  Pour out on waxed paper to dry.
5. When cooled and dry, break apart (if needed), mix in the M&Ms, and place in a party bowl.
6. Serve and enjoy!

*If you use salted butter, don't use/add in this salt.

Special Dark Party Mix

Ingredients:

2 cups Rice Chex

2 cups Corn Chex

4 cups popped popcorn

2 cups Dark Chocolate M&Ms

3/4 cup toasted, chopped pecans*

3/4 cup dark Karo syrup

1 1/2 cups dark brown sugar

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 250ºF.  Lightly grease a large roasting pan.
2. In a large mixing bowl, mix up the cereals, popcorn, and pecans.
3. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter and mix with the corn syrup and sugar.  Stir until the sugar has melted completely, and the syrup is warm and bubbly.  Pour over the cereal/popcorn/pecan mixture, then using a large wooden spoon, mix to coat everything as evenly as possible, then pour into the roasting pan.
4. Stirring approximately every 15 minutes, bake for one hour.  Pour out on waxed paper to cool completely, then mix in the M&Ms and place in a party bowl.
5. Serve and enjoy!

*To toast pecans, simply chop up pecan halves--or use pecan pieces--and put them in a small stainless steel skillet over medium-low heat.  You'll need to stir them occasionally.  When you can smell the warm, nutty scent, they're done.  Pull 'em off the burner RIGHT THEN, otherwise they'll burn and you'll have to start over.  Pecans are expensive, so you don't want to have to do that.

Caramel Joy Party Mix

Ingredients:

3 cups Rice Chex

3 cups Corn Chex

2 cups Crispix

1 cup light brown sugar

1 stick butter

1/4 cup light Karo syrup

1 1/2 tsp real vanilla

1/4 tsp baking soda

1 12oz bag plain M&Ms

1 12oz bag coconut M&Ms (optional)

Directions:

1. In a large microwaveable bowl, mix the cereals.  Set aside.
2. In a small microwaveable bowl, mix up the brown sugar, butter, and Karo, then microwave--uncovered--for 1 minute at full power (HIGH).  Remove, stir, and microwave again for another minute.  The butter should be melted, and everything should be smooth by now3.  Stir in the vanilla and baking soda.  It will probably foam up a little.  THIS IS NORMAL.  Pour the caramel over the cereal, and stir until everything is evenly coated.
3. Microwave this on full power (HIGH) 5-6 minutes, stirring every minute.  When the cereal is a warm, golden brown, you're done.  Pour out on waxed paper, and cool completely.
4. When cooled and dry, break apart (if needed), mix in the M&Ms, and place in a party bowl.
5. Serve and enjoy!

*If you use salted butter, don't use/add in this salt.

I also made (surprise!  surprise!)  M&M cookies.  I found this recipe at the M&M's website.  It's very, very good!  And each cookie has only 90 calories. Although, they're tiny cookies, as this recipe makes about 50...

Red's Ultimate M&Ms Cookies

Ingredients:

1 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (I used my bourbon vanilla)
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 12-ounce package M&M’S® MINIS® Milk Chocolate Candies
3/4 cup chopped nuts (optional--I didn't use them)


Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. 
2. In large bowl, cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy; beat in egg and vanilla. 
3. In medium bowl combine flour, baking soda and salt; blend into butter/sugar mixture. 
4. Stir in M&M’S® MINIS® Milk Chocolate Candies and nuts, if desired. 
5. Drop dough by heaping teaspoonfuls 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheets. 
6. Bake 10 to 13 minutes or until edges are lightly browned and centers are still soft. Do not overbake. 
7. Cool 1 minute on cookie sheets; cool completely on wire racks.

I also made cookies for the kids to take home using these cookie cutters, and the 20-Second Royal Icing recipe I found on Sugarbelle.  If you want it, go there and get it.  It's perfect, and works every single time I've used it.  And I've used it a lot.  Anyway, I made  those as parting gifts, as well as gave each child a small bag of M&Ms to take with them.  I had several different kinds, so they got to choose which one they wanted to take.

Yes, I was the coolest parent on the planet, according to the kids.  I was a real "winner" of a parent with the parents.  (he said, as his words dripped with sarcasm).

Probably the biggest thing I did for the party was the M&M bar.  My family has always been a big M&M fan, so between our house and my parents' house, we were able to come up with ten different M&M dispensers.  Over the course of the past year, I've been collecting ten different varieties of M&Ms--the white chocolate ones that were available at Halloween, the raspberry ones and the chocolate-covered-cherry ones that were available at Valentine's, the mint ones that were available at St Patrick's Day, the cinnamon ones from Christmas, and the "normal" ones that you can find anywhere anytime:  Plain (they'll always be plain in my book), Peanut, Peanut Butter, Pretzel, and Coconut.  I know that Almond is also available, but they're also difficult to use in a dispenser because of their size.  I lined them up, put a label on each, filled them up, and let the people at them.  The ones to go first were all the special flavors (cinnamon and white chocolate were HUGE hits!).

I still have loads of M&Ms left over.  Perfect for my desk at work, as people visit me just to get their hands on my candy.

All in all, I think the party was a huge success.  There were lots of presents, lots of candy, lots of fun, and lots of children crashing after they came down off their sugar rush.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Soup's On!

Since I'm on this huge recipe kick, and since I watched the Soup Nazi Seinfeld episode not too long ago, and since I'm also seriously excited about our upcoming trip to Disney World (even though it's not until December), and since it's Friday, I thought I'd give y'all a series of some of my favorite soup recipes from Walt Disney World.

Lightened up a bit, because, dear LORD, they like to use some heavy stuff.  I'll note what they use out beside my ingredient substitutions.  And, yes, my family enjoys these every bit as much as the Disney versions.  Also, I have absolutely no idea what the calorie count is on these, but I can guarantee you it's less than the originals...

Butternut Squash Soup (from Boma, the restaurant in Animal Kingdom Lodge)
Ingredients:
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil (3 oz unsalted butter)
11 ounces Butternut Squash, cut into chunks (you can find this already cubed at your local grocery)
Salt and pepper to taste
1 cup water
2 cups skim milk (1 cup heavy cream, 1 cup whole milk)
1/2 tsp Splenda (1oz sugar, adjust if needed)
1 tsp fresh ginger
1 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp coriander
1 tbsp cornstarch
3 ounces fat-free/skim shredded cheddar cheese (3 oz American Cheese)


Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325ºF.  In a small baking dish, mix the squash and the extra virgin olive oil.  Season with salt and pepper, then roast for 45 minutes.
2. In a blender (or a food processor, if your processor is leak-proof), blend up the squash with the 1 cup water.  Pour into a large soup pot, and add the milk, Splenda, ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon, and coriander.
3. Make a slurry with the cornstarch by taking a tablespoon of COLD water in a measuring cup, adding the cornstarch, and mixing it well.  Add to the soup to thicken (which it will do when it heats up).
4. Add the cheese to the soup, and continue mixing until smooth.
5. Adjust seasoning to your tastes.

Ginger Pumpkin Soup (from Chef Mickey's in the Contemporary Resort)

Ingredients:

1 tsp minced shallot

1/2 tsp extra virgin olive oil

4 cans plain pumpkin (2- to 3-pound pumpkin, peeled, seeded, and diced into 3/4-inch pieces as well as 1 1/4 cups unsweetened pumpkin puree)

(1/2 cup brandy - I skip this entirely)

4 cups chicken broth

salt and pepper to taste

1 tbsp fresh ginger, minced

1 tbsp white wine (I skip this)

1 1/4 tsp cinnamon

pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
2 tbsp fat free cream cheese (mascarpone cheese)

Directions:

1. Sweat shallots in oil until translucent in the bottom of a large soup pot.  Add the pumpkin and the broth, and simmer for 30 minutes.
2. Finely mince ginger and set it aside.
3. Thirty minutes before serving, add the ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg to reach the desired flavor.  Season with salt and pepper to taste, and serve with a dollop of cheese on top.

Note:  If you add the ginger too early OR you add powdered ginger, it can make this soup pretty spicy if you're not careful.  With the powdered ginger, the soup gets a more peppery flavor the longer it cooks.  So BE CAREFUL.

Big Bowl Chicken Soup (from Pop Century Resort--this makes 12-14 servings, so please adjust for smaller batches!  This is an Asian take on chicken soup)

Ingredients:

2 lbs cooked, deboned, shredded chicken

3 lbs cooked yolk-free egg noodles (udon noodles)

1lb bok choy (Bias Cut)

8 oz canned sliced mushrooms, rinsed and drained (slicked mushrooms--I have no idea what those are, so I'm leaving it as is.  I'm hoping they're SLICED mushrooms...)

6 oz bamboo shoots

10 oz chicken broth, hot

1 oz minced fresh ginger

1 oz minced fresh garlic

1 cup water (10 oz)

1 oz extra virgin olive oil (canola oil)

(2 oz rice wine)

1 oz soy sauce

1/2 oz sesame oil

salt and pepper to taste (3 tbsp house seasoning)

Directions:

1. Heat wok to 175 degrees and add oil.
2. Saute garlic and ginger.
3. Add chicken, mushrooms, and bamboo shoots.
4. Add veggies, soy sauce, wine (if you're using it), chicken broth, and water.
5. When water is at a boil, add noodles and bok choy.
6. When the noodles are tender, turn off wok.
7. Finish by adding some sliced green onions, if you'd like.
8. Enjoy!

Tomato Bisque (from Sunshine Seasons in The Land in EPCOT)

Ingredients:

1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil (butter)

1 large onion, diced

1 clove garlic, crushed

3 cans diced tomatoes (I use fire-roasted, but the recipe doesn't call for anything specific)

1 tbsp Splenda (sugar)

1 tsp dried basil OR 1 tbsp fresh basil

1/4 cup chicken broth

8 cups water

corn starch (optional)

salt and pepper to taste

1/4 cup skim milk (heavy cream)

Directions:

1. In a large soup pot, drizzle oil and saute onions.
2. Add the tomatoes, garlic, sugar, and basil and onions into a blender, and blend until smooth.  Pour everything back into the soup pot.  (This is not exactly how they tell you to do it, as they expect you to have a hand-held blender that you can use in your soup pot.  I don't have one, so....)
3. Add chicken broth and water.
4. If it's too thin, make a slurry of the corn starch with a little water, then add to the soup to thicken it up.
5. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
6. Add the milk, then serve when it's at the perfect temperature for you.

Strawberry Soup (from 1900 Park Fare in the Grand Floridian)

Ingredients:

2 lbs, 8 ounces frozen strawberries in their own juice, thawed

16 oz skim milk (heavy cream)

2 oz sour cream (I use fat-free)

3 oz strawberry yogurt (plain yogurt)

8 oz fresh strawberries

Directions:

1. Mix first four ingredients in a blender until smooth.
2. Chill; shake well before serving.
3. Add the fresh strawberries as a garnish.

Note:  If I'm just making this into a quick snack for me, the Editor, or the Cubs, I cut way back on this and make it in our Bullet.  If I'm making this for everyone, I'll do it all in the blender, though.

Well, that's it for today, folks!  I hope you enjoy making these soups as much as I do.  They are wonderful, as everything from Disney is.

I WANT CHOCOLATE!

Probably the hardest thing about this lifestyle change I've made is the cutting out of chocolate.  I can deal with no sugar, no cookies, some diet cake (I'll tell you about that in a minute), no ice cream, all that kind of stuff.

But when it comes to chocolate, it's a different story.

I'm not talking Russel Stover chocolate--which, I know, a LOT of people love.  I'm talking Hershey's.  M&Ms.  Ghirardelli.  Lindt.  Dove.  Doesn't matter if it's milk or white or dark or semisweet.  

I.

LOVE.

CHOCOLATE.

And I can't have any.

And it's just about to kill me.

I know, I know, you're probably saying "but you CAN have some--you just have to make sure you don't eat but just a little bit."

And therein lies the rub.  I can't stop once I start.  I can't eat just one or two M&Ms.  I have to eat the whole bag.  Not the little snack bag.  The large size bag.

And now I hear that there's good news on the chocolate front--that a little dark chocolate every day improves your life, science has proved.  To those scientist, I just say "WELL DUH!"  I've known this for a very, very long time.  They just want us to cut way way way back on it and only eat like a half an ounce.

Which is like trying to eat one M&M or one chocolate chip.

It's not possible.

So, I broke down and found a pretty good recipe that helps me out.  Kinda.  And it's something that stores easily, too!

3-2-1 Cake

Ingredients:

1 box Angel Food cake (I use Duncan Hines)

1 box any flavor regular cake mix (again, I use Duncan Hines)

2 tbsp water

fruit slices/fat-free or sugar-free or both Whipped Cream/whatever floats your boat for toppings

Directions:

1. In a one-gallon-sized food storage container (Rubbermaid, Tupperware, Ziplock bag, whatever), mix the two cake mixes thoroughly.
2. In a microwave-safe coffee mug, drop in three tablespoons of the cake mix, two tablespoons of water, mix it up well, and microwave it for one minute.  Let it rest for a couple minutes to cool off a bit, because you don't want to burn the snot out of your mouth.
3. Top with your favorite topping(s).

Store the remaining cake mix in a cool, dry place for up to three months.  You can get about 48 small mug cakes out of this recipe, since the mix itself is about six cups.

The basic cake prior to you adding toppings has 80 calories, 1.3g of fat (0.2 g saturated, 0.5 g monounsaturated), 0 cholesterol, 1.2 g protein, 15.8g carbs, 0.2g fiber, and 114 mg sodium.

And you can eat it out of the mug with your spoon.  

My favorite is mixing devil's food with the angel food.

For obvious reasons.

Weighing Down

Well, it's now been six weeks.  Give or take, I mean.  I think it's been more like six and a half, but that's OK.

I'm actually pretty excited today!  My official weigh-in has me down 34.4 lbs!  w00t!

However, I'm aching today.  Seriously.  Aching all over.  I ache in places I didn't realize I had muscles.

I've mentioned before that I do water aerobics.  Well, last week, I did it four different times, as well as Jillian Michael's Six Week Six Pack DVD, the dancing thing AND I did some--but not much--walking.  More on why I didn't do much in my column I'm thinking about for tomorrow or Thursday.

I seriously over-did it last week, I think.  On the scale, it was pretty awesome.  I mean, I dropped a little over five pounds last week.  Who wouldn't enjoy that?  Well, my body certainly didn't.  

But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop.

I'm hoping that I'll get used to the stricter, more active regimen that I'm trying to force myself into.  It's been pretty helpful that I've gone to the lengths that I have to work out.  And with our amazing water aerobics instructor, she's really giving it to us and forcing us to work our butts off.

And it's obviously working.

I've even been told by a LOT of people that they can tell a big difference in me.  My face has slimmed down considerably, and my body has dropped two sizes in pants AND shirts.  Heck--and this is TMI I know--I've even dropped a size in my underwear.  Going to have to go buy some new ones soon.

Speaking of buying new clothes, I finally broke down and bought some new pants.  I only had one pair of 42x30s, and one cannot live on only one pair of pants.  My 44x30s and 46x30s now look like clown pants.  The 42x30s are slightly tight, but they're getting looser.  I'd love to be on 42x30s by April.  I'm hoping to be in either 38x30s or 36x30s by December.

I've dropped enough weight up top to go from a 5XL to a 3XL.  This is important to me, because of our upcoming trip to Walt Disney World.  It's difficult at best to find clothes that are larger than a 2XL available in the shops at WDW, so my goal by the time I get there is to be in an XL shirt.  That way, I know I'll be able to just walk into any clothing store in the World and buy whatever shirt or shorts or pants or jacket or whatever I want, and be absolutely sure I'll fit into it.

But I digress.

I was talking about water aerobics and how our instructor is really killing us.

Take last night for example.  Last night was "Latin" night, so we had to listen to Latin music.  Which isn't a problem for me, except we have to keep up with the beat of the music.

And Latin music is FAST.  

And not only that, she worked in a new exercise that--holy crap--is HARD.  Basically, it's just jumping.  But it's a little more than that.  For twenty (20) seconds, we had to LEAP up and out of the water as fast and as high as we could, immediately leaping up and out as soon as we came back down.  Then, we would get a ten (10) second rest to "catch our breath" (HA!), and then it would start all over again.  

Eight.

Times.

I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.

This exercise is SO much harder than the Patty Cake (well, that's what *I* call it) one she came up with last week.  In that one, you have to pair up with someone about your height.  Then, you both leap up and out of the water, and, at the pinnacle, clap your hands together with theirs.  Twice.  And you had to have clapped twice before you came back down.

And we did it for a minute and a half.

Twice.

With barely ten seconds breather in between.

I know it sounds like I'm complaining.  And, from a certain point of view, I know I am.  BUT!!!!  It's actually working well.  Really well.  I can't expect this fat to melt off my body without me doing something easy.  

In other news, along with exercise, it's also important to eat right.  My family has really been enjoying different types of hummus lately.  Especially since it's so low in calories.  Yes, it is a little high in fat, but that's OK.  It's good fat.  Yesterday, I gave you the recipe for Sun Dried Tomato hummus.  Talk about YUMMY.  Today, I'm going to give you a different recipe.  It's called Black Bean Hummus.  And it's even better than the one from yesterday, if you can believe it.  I found this one on SparkPeople.  I changed it up just a tiny bit to make it where my family enjoys it more.

Ingredients:

3 1/2 cups canned black beans, rinsed and drained

1 small sweet onion, diced

1/2 green bell pepper, diced

3 cloves of garlic, sliced

2 tbsp ground cumin

2 tsp ground red pepper

1 1/2 tsp extra virgin olive oil

2 tbsp cilantro (optional--you don't have to use it if you don't like it)

1/4 c (MAX!!!) vegetable broth.

Sea salt and black pepper to taste

Directions:

1. In a small skillet over medium-high heat, pour in the EVOO, onion, green bell pepper, and garlic.  Saute until caramelized, about three minutes.
2. While those are caramelizing, rinse and drain your black beans, and place them into a food processor.  
3. Drop in the onion, bell pepper, and garlic.
4. Add in the spices and tear off the 2 tbsp cilantro from your fresh bunch.
5. Clip on the lid (or whatever you have to do with yours), and pulse until it's all combined.
6. IF it's too thick for you, add in some of the vegetable broth, about a tablespoon at a time.  I haven't had to do this, because my family really likes it thick.  Anyway, add any salt and pepper you need to it to make it suit your family's tastes.

I typically serve this with some new multi-grain flatbread that I found that has 100 calories per slice.  I cut it up into wedges, then spray it with my EVOO mister, and broil it for a couple minutes to get it toasted.  Anyway, it's called Flatout.  It's a tiny bit more expensive than regular flat bread, but for only 100 calories a slice and I can use three slices to feed my family of six, well...  That's not too bad.  I use this for all my hummus recipes.

Oh!  The hummus makes eight 1/2 cup servings.  Each serving has roughly 123 calories, 1.6 g of fat, and 7.3 g of protien, so it's LOADED with protein and will go a long way.  

Talk About A Trek!

I know it's been a week since I last updated.  I apologize.  Life has run away with me and...  Hoo-BOY!  I'll try to do better this week, but I'm not going to guarantee it.  

On a brighter note, I am getting seriously excited about our upcoming Disney World trip.  I know it's still ten months away, but I don't really care.  I'm a planner, and, well, it's hard to NOT plan what you're going to do on a Disney Trip.  Regardless of the fact that we're going for Christmas. 

I found out about a new tour that I'm hoping to sign me and my two eldest Cub Reporters up for.  It's called the Wild Africa Trek, and is a three-hour (mostly) walking tour through the back side of the animal preserve in the Animal Kingdom.

I.

Cannot.

Wait.

Yes, it's $200 a person, but I can deal with that.  It's a once-in-a-lifetime thing that I know my sons will just flip out over.  PLUS, they'll get to experience some new food while we're on this trek.  Food that I've found the recipes for, and I'm going to try to make so that they'll know sort of what to expect while we're out on this trek.  While they do have an alternative for children if they so desire, I really want my sons to get the full-blown impact of this trek.  And since there's two different times for it (one serves more breakfast-y type things, while the other serves more lunch type things), by making some of these dishes, I'll get a better sense as to what time I should shoot for when I make the reservations for this trek (you can only make them 180 days in advance).

The breakfast consists two tins containing a variety of food.  One tin has a piece of crunch fig cake with almonds, savory slices of bresoala (dried beef) and prosciutto, buttery smoked salmon roll with jicama slaw and lime vinaigrette.  The other contains cubed brie and dried apricots, pineapple/honeydew/cantaloupe/watermelon balls in a ginger-mint dressing, and strawberry yogurt with granola and dried cherries.

The lunch has many of the same foods, but with a few substitutions.  In the top tin, it has bresoala and prosciutto, fruit balls with ginger-mint dressing, and curried chicken salad.  The bottom tin has the salmon roll, sun-dried tomato hummus, and some tandoori barbecued shrimp.

Both contain small pita breads and an edible orchid that supposedly tastes like a slightly sweet lettuce.  Can't wait to try that!

If you're interested in the trek as well and want to try out some of the things that are served on it, here are some recipes I found.  Not totally sure that everything is exactly the same, but I'm hoping it's close.  The only recipe that I'm 100% sure is the same is the curried chicken salad recipe.

Also note that there are alternatives available to you as well.  There are child-friendly alternatives, gluten free alternatives, and even vegan alternatives.  If you have any allergies, please tell them when you're making your reservation, and they'll ensure that you do not get the food(s) you are allergic to.

Breakfast

Jicama Slaw  (Note:  not sure if this is the same recipe as what is on the trek or not, but it's a Disney recipe, and is the only one I can find...)
Ingredients
4 apples
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 jicama, peeled
4 cups mixed greens, washed and spun
1/2 cup red onion, diced
1/2 cup radish slices
salt and pepper, to taste
8 oz plain yogurt

Directions:

1. Wash apple.  Cut in half and remove seeds.  Cut all halves into slices.  Place in a mixing bowl and drizzle with olive oil, salt, and pepper.
2. Place apples on a grill on low heat to caramelize and impart some of the smoky flavor.  Chill grilled apples and set aside.
3. Wash and peel the jicama.  Cut into slices, then julienne.  Place in a large mixing bowl.
4. Add the red onions, radish slices, and mixed greens.  Remove the apples from the refrigerator and cut into a large dice.  Place in bowl.
5. Mix the yogurt into the salad.  Add salt and pepper to taste.  Mix and serve.

Note:  The Disney recipe calls for spinach as an alternative to the mixed greens.  They also mix 2 oz of Port Wine into the yogurt before adding it into the salad.  As I serve this to my children, I don't use the port wine.  But I'll let you decide if you want to do that with yours or not.

Lunch

Curried Chicken Salad  (Note:  This is the actual Disney recipe!)

Ingredients

1 tsp coarse salt, divided
1 1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breast
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/3 cup Greek yogurt
1/4 cup chopped red onion
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
4 teaspoons curry powder
1 teaspoon honey
1/2 teaspoon grated fresh ginger
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 ripe mango, diced
3/4 cup red grapes

Directions

1. Fill a large, shallow pan with water. Bring to a boil and add 1/2 teaspoon salt. Add chicken. Simmer, covered, until just cooked through, about 12 minutes. Drain and set aside to cool. Cut into 1/4-inch dice and refrigerate until cold. 
2. Combine mayonnaise, yogurt, onion, lime juice, curry powder, honey, ginger, pepper and remaining half-teaspoon salt in a large bowl. Add chilled chicken and stir to combine. Fold in grapes and mango and serve immediately. 

Note: If making in advance, combine chicken with sauce and refrigerate. Fold in grapes and mango a half-hour before serving.  Serves 2.


Sun Dried Tomato Hummus  (Note:  This is not the actual Disney recipe--I can't find it.)
Ingredients
1 can chickpeas, drained
3 tbsp sun dried tomatoes in oil
2 tsp parsley
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp lemon juice

Directions

1. In a food processor, combine all ingredients and process until smooth and creamy.  If too thick, add 1 tbsp water until desired consistency.
2. Serve immediately with hot pita bread, veggies, or pita chips.

Note:  This can be stored in an airtight container for a couple days.  It can be made up to two days in advance.

Tandoori Prawns  (Note:  This is not the actual Disney recipe--I can't find it)

Ingredients

20 large prawns - shelled with tail on and de-veined

2 tbsp plain Greek yogurt

1 tbsp fresh ginger

1 tbsp garlic paste (Note:  you can easily make this yourself by mincing garlic and mixing it with a little salt)

2 tbsp fresh lime juice

1 shallot, minced

1 tsp cumin

2 tsp red chili powder

Directions

1. Mix all the ingredients--except the shrimp--in a small bowl.  
2. Add in the shrimp and stir gently to coat.
3. Cover, and refrigerate overnight.
4. Heat a grill pan on high-heat until very hot (or get your grill on!), and grill these prawns until done--between two and three minutes.  They'll curl up when they're done.

Well, that's it for today, kids.  I hope you have a WONDERFUL week!

Oh, Lighten Up!

It's been a while since I posted some recipes, so, hey, why not give you some more?  These recipes are some of my family's favorites, so I'm hoping you'll enjoy them too.  Plus, they're all about the lightening up some of my family's favorite dishes.

My family LOVES these recipes, so I hope you will too.

Fried Potatoes

Ingredients:

3 large Russet potatoes, cleaned and diced (skins on)

3 large Red potatoes, cleaned and diced (skins on)

1 sweet yellow onion, diced

Baby Carrots

2 tsp extra virgin olive oil (two turns of the pan)

salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
2. In an oven-proof skillet over high heat, mix the potatoes, carrots, and onions.  Drizzle with the olive oil, and add salt and pepper.
3. Mix the potatoes, carrots, and onions until all are coated, and start sizzling in the heat of the pan.  Turn as they get caramelized, until they are seared as much as you like.
4. Turn off the stove, and place the uncovered skillet in the oven.  Bake for 20-30 minutes, depending on your preference.
5. When they come out, they'll have the crunch of a fried potato with the softness of a baked.

Danish Burgers (as opposed to a greasy hamburger)

Ingredients:

6 whole wheat buns

4 white button mushrooms (stems removed), diced (can use baby bellas)

2 lbs ground chicken (or turkey)

2 shallots, minced

2 tbsp brown mustard (can use Dijon if you'd like)

2 tsp extra virgin olive oil (two turns of the pan)

1 tbsp Old Bay Seasoning

1/4 lb Havarti with dill cheese, finely diced

salt and pepper to taste

leaf lettuce (or whatever kind of lettuce you want to use)

sliced tomatoes

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, gently mix ground chicken (or turkey), mushrooms, cheese, shallots, mustard, Old Bay, and salt and pepper until thoroughly mixed.  Divide evenly and form into six patties.
2. In a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat, pour the EVOO (about two turns of the pan).  Heat until the oil shimmers, then drop in the patties.  Cook about six minutes, then flip the patties and cook another six.
3. While the burgers are cooking, slice the tomatoes and clean the leaf lettuce, and toast the buns (if desired).
4. When the patties are done, assemble the burgers.  (I use a little more brown mustard on ours, and the Cubs eat this up!).

Turkey Mock Gyros

Ingredients:

Patties

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 lb ground turkey

1/2 sweet onion, finely diced

3/4 tsp dried rosemary

3/4 tsp dried oregano

1/2 tsp thyme

2 tsp extra virgin olive oil (two turns of the pan)

salt and pepper to taste

Sandwich

Pita bread

Sliced cucumbers

Sliced Tomatoes

Fat Free Ranch or Cucumber Ranch Dressing

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 450ºF.
2. Mix all patty ingredients in a mixing bowl BY HAND.  You'll need to work it so that the turkey really breaks down.  (I typically use a wooden spoon to do this, because the whipping motion I use helps with making the turkey softer).
3. Pour the olive oil in a STAINLESS STEEL PAN (a nonstick pan won't handle the heat of the oven), and turn the stove on HIGH.
4. Form six small patties (shaped kind of like meatloaf) out of the turkey mixture, and, when the olive oil begins to shimmer in the pan, place the turkey patties into it.  Fry for about four minutes, then flip.  After two minutes, remove from heat, and place in the oven to finish cooking for 15-20 minutes.
5. Remove from oven, then thinly slice.
6. Serve in pita bread, topped with Ranch, sliced cucumbers, and sliced tomatoes.

1-Point Cupcakes  (These are, from what I gather, 1 point if you're on Weight Watchers.  They're roughly 90 calories each.)

Ingredients:

1 box cake mix, any flavor

1 can diet pop, any flavor

powdered sugar

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350ºF.
2. Line two cupcake tins with papers.  (This always makes 21 cupcakes for me)
3. Mix the cake mix and the can of pop for thirty seconds on medium, then two minutes on high.
4. Fill each cupcake paper 3/4 of the way full.
5. Bake for 18-20 minutes.
6. Sprinkle with powdered sugar when they come out.

Yes, that's all there is to it.  And they are GOOD!  My family's favorite is a milk chocolate cake mix with a can of Cherry Coke Zero.

I hope you enjoy these recipes as much as my family does!  Have a wonderful day!

Put A Little Love In Your Heart

Wow.  A week from tomorrow is Valentine's Day.  Again.  Didn't I just do this?  Ah, well, it's going to be all pink and red hearts at my house, probably a little glitter, lots of fingernail polish, and buttloads of frilly things.

And that's just my daughter.

I'm not that big on Valentine's Day.  Honestly, I'm not.  But I have a wife and a daughter, so that makes it a big holiday for us in our house.  I seriously doubt my sons would even realize it was Valentine's Day without someone stopping them in their schizophrenic movements from one room to another and telling them specifically that that's what is going on.  I know I wouldn't.

But I'm warned ahead of time that it's coming.  So, I do try to prepare.

Hence the timing of this column. And it's a long one, so hold on to your butts.

While I'm not going to tell you what to buy for the Editors/Cub Reporters in your life, I will give you several recipes that are my family's favorites.  I haven't decided which I'm going to make yet, but I've still got eight more days to do that.  I'm fairly certain that I will do everything I can to make sure that I stick with my diet, though.  Much to my family's chagrin.  Especially 'cause the first recipe I'm going to give you is their favorite V-Day breakfast EVER.

Chocolate Gravy

Ingredients:
1 3/4 cups milk (doesn't matter which one, but I wouldn't recommend less than 2%.  Whole is MUCH better!)
1/4 cup coffee liqueur (the alcohol will cook out of this, and you'll never taste the coffee!  I PROMISE!)
4 tbsp cocoa powder (I use Ghirardelli sweet ground, but you can use Hershey unsweetened or whatever you want.)
1/2-3/4 cup sugar (if you use the sweet ground cocoa, go with 1/2 cup sugar, otherwise go with the 3/4 cup)
1/2 cup REAL unsalted, sweet cream butter
1/4 cup regular, all-purpose flour
biscuits

Directions:

1. Pop your biscuits into the oven to bake.  I use whop-em biscuits (the kind that come in a can that you have to whop to get them to open up--hence the name) or frozen.  The frozen ones taste better, IMO.
2. In a deep skillet over medium heat, melt the butter.
3. While the butter is melting, mix together the cocoa and the flour.  Trust me on this.  If you don't mix it ahead of time, it becomes a pain in the butt later.  Once the butter is melted, stir in the cocoa/flour mix until you've got a thick chocolate-y paste on your hands.
4. Pour in the coffee liqueur and the milk, mix until everything is dissolved into the liquids, and add in the sugar.
5. Now the hard part.  STIR CONSTANTLY UNTIL THIS THICKENS UP.  This will take FOREVER to do.  I apologize for that, but there you go.  When this thickens up, your biscuits should be just about ready, if not already done.
6. Split your biscuits open, and spoon this delicious chocolate-y goodness over it.  Your own cub reporters will rave, then get real hyper, then fall into a sugar coma.  You're welcome.

I <3 Toast

Ingredients:

Bread

Butter

Eggs

Dash of water

Ketchup

Directions:

1. Find a heart-shaped cookie cutter.
2. Butter your bread ON ONE SIDE.
3. Using your cookie cutter, cut out a heart from the middle of your bread.***
4. With the dash of water and in a small bowl, scramble the eggs.  Yes, I said to use water.  It will actually make your scrambled eggs a little fluffier than milk.  I don't know why.  I'm not Martha Stewart, so if you want to know, go ask her.
5. Put the bread (buttered-side down) with the heart cut out of it into a small skillet, and pour in the egg.  Cook on LOW (so your bread doesn't burn before your egg is cooked).  Yes, the egg will actually cook all the way through, even though it takes some time to do this.
6. When you serve it, use the ketchup to make little red hearts on it.  To do this, put two little dots of ketchup right next to each other, then use a toothpick to bring the dots down together into a point and turns them into a heart.  Your own Cub Reporters will LOVE this!

***Side note:  Save this for you and your Editor for later.  I've got another recipe coming up after this one for just the two of you, and it uses these pieces of bread!

Chocolate-Stuffed Heart French Toast

Ingredients:

Four hearts you cut out of the bread from the recipe above

Eggs

Scant water

Dash of Cinnamon

A little sugar

Chopped chocolate bars/chips/whatever as long as it's chopped up small.

Fresh berries of your choice

Raspberry, Strawberry, or Cherry syrup

Directions:

1. In the middle of one of the bread hearts, place a tsp of chocolate.  Place another bread heart on top.  Using a fork, crimp the edges of the bread hearts together, sealing the chocolate inside.
2. Scrambled up the eggs with a little water, and add some cinnamon and some sugar.
3. Dunk your hearts in the eggs, making sure you coat the outside of the hearts ON BOTH SIDES.
4. Cook in a skillet on medium heat until golden brown on both sides.  The chocolate inside the hearts should melt beautifully.
5. Serve drizzeled with some syrup, a few fresh berries and, if you're like me, a little shaved chocolate (which is easy to do:  take a chocolate bar and run a carrot/potato peeler down the side of it.  The shavings curl up and look awesome on a plate!)

If you want to get extra fancy with this French Toast recipe, you can do something that takes planning ahead.  Take some ROOM TEMPERATURE real sweet cream butter (at least two sticks), and, using a mixer and a small bowl, whip up the butter with some of the berries (I use chopped up cherries for this) until it's all incorporated.  Then, wrestle out a sheet of cling wrap until it's laying flat on a table.  Scoop the berry butter into the middle of it into the shape of a log.  Roll it up and twist the ends until it looks kind of like a funky sausage.  Wrap it in aluminum foil, and pop it in the freezer until it's frozen solid--I usually do this for at least eight hours.  When I go to make this French Toast, I get the butter out right before I start making the toast, and, when I go to serve it, I slice up the butter and put a pat on each piece of toast before I drizzle on the syrup.  

Speaking of which....

Berry Syrup  (This isn't really a syrup as much as it is a sauce...)

Ingredients:

1 bag of frozen berries (any kind, even mixed works well!), thawed

2-3 tbsp berry jam (I try to use whatever kind of berry jam that's the same as the frozen berries)

sugar (to taste)

Directions:

1. If, like me, you forget to thaw the berries ahead of time, place them in a microwave safe bowl and nuke them for about 30 seconds at a time, stirring between times, until they're thawed out.
2. Using a spoon, stir up the jam until it's no longer a solid lump, then drizzle 2-3 tbsp of it into your berries.
3. Using a fork, mash away until you have a syrup.
4. Taste.  If you need sugar, add a little.  Mash it up in there as well.
5. When you're ready, heat it in the microwave for just a few seconds until it gets warm and can melt the butter on your French Toast.

For lunches, I typically do things for my Cub Reporters like cut out hearts from bread, cheese slices, and deli meats, and make heart-shaped sandwiches.  Yes, I do clean the heart cookie cutter before I use it again.  

I also have a little heart-shaped cookie cutter that I like to use to cut up apple slices, thicker cheese slices, etc. for them as side dishes.  I only use the cheese slices if the Cub Reporters are eating PB&J for lunch.

Now on to dinner (Yes, I know this is a long column, but hey, you're getting some of my best recipes here!)...

Italian Wedding Soup  (I DO NOT use spinach in mine.  But you can in yours if you want to.)

Ingredients:

2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil, 2 turns of the pan in a slow stream
2 carrots, peeled and chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
1 yellow medium onion, chopped
2 bay leaves, fresh or dried
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 lbs ground beef
1 egg, beaten
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano or Romano (I use the triple cheese blend that Kraft puts out), a couple of handfuls
1/2 cup Italian-style bread crumbs, a couple of handfuls
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
6 cups chicken broth
2 cups water
1 1/2 cups macaroni

Directions:

1. In a deep pot over medium heat add oil, chopped carrots, celery and onions and bay leaves. Season with salt and pepper. Cover pot and cook veggies 5 or 6 minutes, stirring occasionally.
2. While the veggies cook, combine meat, egg, garlic, grated cheese, bread crumbs, salt, pepper, nutmeg.
3. Uncover your soup pot and add broth and water to the pot. Increase heat to high and bring soup to a boil. When soup boils, reduce heat a bit and start to roll meat mixture into small balls, dropping them straight into the pot. You are making meat dumplings that will cook in the broth. When you are done rolling the meat, add pasta to the soup and stir. Cover and simmer soup 10 minutes. When pasta is tender, it's ready to serve!

Yes, that was a take on Rachel Ray's Italian Mini Meatball Soup.  But it's one that I've used for years now.  My family LOVES THIS SOUP!

Berried Chicken Salad  (Expensive, but oh so worth it!)

Ingredients:
3-4 chicken breasts
1 bag Field Greens salad
1 of those clamshell plastic boxes (1/2 pint?  I dunno) blueberries
1 of those clamshell plastic boxes (1/2 pint?  I dunno) blackberries
1 15oz can mandarin oranges, drained
1 cup pine nuts, toasted (just toast them in a small skillet over medium heat, stirring occasionally, making sure they don't burn)
1 pint strawberries, hulled and quartered
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup seedless blackberry jam
Couple squirts yellow mustard

Directions:

1. Whisk together the vinegar, EVOO, jam, and yellow mustard.  This makes your dressing.
2. In a second bowl, place the chicken breasts and pour about a quarter of your dressing over the chicken breasts, making sure that you don't use all of the dressing, otherwise you'll need to make more later for your salad.  Coat the chicken breasts.
3. In a skillet over medium-high heat, cook the chicken breasts until they're done (about 6 minutes per side) and discard the dressing that was left in the chicken bowl.  DO NOT EAT IT.
4. In a large salad bowl, mix together the rest of the ingredients, then place a healthy portion of the salad on the serving plates.  Drizzle with a little of your reserved dressing.
5. Slice up the chicken, and place on top of your salad.
6. Serve immediately.
7. Listen to the rave reviews you're going to get.

Pepperoni Hearts Pizza

Ingredients:
FRESH flour tortillas
Pizza sauce
Pepperoni
Sliced mozzarella cheese
Any other toppings you want (basil, oregano, black olives, whatever)

Directions:

1. Take a SMALL (ie 1-inch tall) heart-shaped cookie cutter.  Stack up some of the pepperonis, and cut them with the cookie cutter.  I use a metal one, and it slides through fairly easily.  Do the same thing with the mozzarella cheese.
2. Preheat your oven to 375º F.
3. Fold the tortillas in half, one at a time.  Cut the half-moon shape into a half-heart shape.  Keep the scraps for "fun-shaped" baked tortilla chips.
4. Unfold the tortillas, then place them on a cookie sheet.
5. Spread a about a tbsp of the pizza sauce on each of the tortilla hearts, then get your own Cub Reporters in there and have them dress up their hearts with the pepperonis, cheese, and whatever else they're looking for.
6. Put the scraps of the tortillas around the hearts so they'll bake as you're baking the pizzas.
7. Bake for about 7 minutes.

That's it!  You've now got dinner covered.

And now for some desserts.  With the cookies/bars type things, I do try to make ahead of time so the Cub Reporters can have them as treats for their lunches, but sometimes I just save them back until they've made a Happy Plate/Bowl after dinner.

And I do use the same cookie cutters as above (if I'm going to spend that kind of money on these things, I might as well get as much use out of them as possible!).

Heart of My Heart Jigglers

Ingredients:
2 1/2 cups boiling water
2 boxes Strawberry/Cherry/whatever red color you like Jell-O (the box that says it makes 8 servings)
1 cup COLD milk (I use 2%)
1 box VANILLA instant pudding (the box that says it serves 4)

Directions:

1. In a big bowl, mix the BOILING (!!!!! IMPORTANT!!!!!) water with the Jell-O and stir until the Jell-O is completely dissolved.  Then, let sit there on the counter for about 30 minutes.  This will cause the Jell-O to set up a TINY bit, but it will also bring everything to room temp.  This is also important.
2. About twenty-five minutes into the cooling process, in a smaller bowl, mix the vanilla pudding mix and the milk.  You'll want to whisk it for about a minute so the pudding granules all dissolve.  DO NOT mix until it's setting up, though.  If it sets up a minute into the mixing, well, WOW.  That never happens to me.
3. Pour the just-finished-mixing-it-up pudding into the Jell-O you have sitting there.  Mix it.  A lot.  Then pour everything into a 9x13 pan and put it in the refrigerator for three hours MINIMUM (I usually do this at night and let it set all night--but I also cover it with plastic wrap if I'm going to let it set all night).
4. Using a smaller heart-shaped cookie cutter (roughly 2 inches--certainly not the one I use for the chocolate-filled heart French Toast or the sandwiches or anything like that), cut out your hearts.  I can get 24 out of a pan using a 2" cookie cutter.  You can store these, but you'll need to make sure that whatever you store them in is SERIOUSLY sealed.  Otherwise they go from being Jigglers to Rubbers.

Red Velvet Sandwich Cookies (The Editor calls them Whoopie-Pies, but they're better than those)

Ingredients:
Cookies:
2 cups regular flour
2 tbsp cocoa powder (I use Hershey's for this one)
1 stick REAL butter (if you use shortening, this won't work), room temp
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp baking powder
Slightly less than 1/2 cup buttermilk, remaining filled with coffee liqueur (alcohol will bake out)
1/4 tsp salt
A whole 1oz thing of red food coloring (I use Duff's, which I found at Michael's.  It's the best, brightest red out there and doesn't have an aftertaste to it)

Frosting (this makes a LOT, so watch out!)
2 sticks real sweet cream UNSALTED sweet cream butter, room temperature
4 egg whites
1/2 cup white sugar
1-2 tsp CLEAR vanilla extract (optional)

Directions:

To start with, we're going to make the cookies.  If you leave the red food coloring out of these, they still make terrific cookies!  The Cub Reporters eat them up!

1. Preheat your oven to 350º F.
2. Line a cookie sheet (I use one that doesn't have a rim on it) with a piece of parchment paper.  If you're great with just free-handing hearts, don't worry about what I'm about to say.  If you're like me and you suck at it, well, take your heart-shaped cookie cutter (I use the same one I use with the French Toast up there), set it on the parchment paper, and then trace around the inside of it with a pencil.  Stick as many as you can on a piece of parchment paper.  Trust me on this.
3. In a large bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa, baking powder, and salt.  Set it aside.
4. (If you have a Kitchen-Aid, this will be a LOT easier!)  Cream together the butter and sugar until it's light and fluffy (2-3 minutes), and then drop in the egg and vanilla.
5. LOWER YOUR SPEED AS LOW AS YOU CAN GO!!!!  Add in 1/3 of the flour mixture, then 1/2 of the buttermilk/coffee liqueur mixture, then another half of the flour mixture, then the rest of the buttermilk/coffee liqueur mixture, and then the rest of the flour mixture.  Make SURE you're mixing it all in well before you add the next piece.  (Thank you Martha Stewart for teaching me this.  Even though I'm not a fan, I still do take your tips to heart.  Sometimes.)
6. Finally, squirt in the red food coloring, and let it mix.  And mix.  And mix.  Until the color is uniform.
7. (This step can be difficult.  Just warning you now.)  Cut a hole in the corner of a gallon-sized ziplock bag.  Open the bag, and put the cookie dough into it, then seal the bag back up.
8. (Here's why I recommend drawing the hearts on your parchment paper):  Carefully pipe the batter into the middles of the heart on the parchment paper.  You'll want to start in the center, and work your way out until you have them filled about 3/4 of the way full.  Because they have butter in them, THEY WILL SPREAD.
9. Bake for 8-10 minutes, or until they appear to be set (the tops aren't really shiny anymore), and then pull them out and let them set on the baking sheet for roughly 10 minutes to finish "baking."
10. Do this until you don't have any batter left, and all the cookies are COMPLETELY cooled.
11. Eat the odd one.  :)

This next piece is how to make the filling.

1. In a small bowl and using an electric hand mixer, beat the snot out of the butter until it's light and fluffy.  About four minutes.
2. Wash and completely dry your Kitchen-Aid bowl, then put in the sugar and the egg whites.  Build a double-boiler, and put this bowl over it.  Whisk the eggs until they are frothy and steaming, and the sugar has dissolved.  Remove the bowl from the boiler.
3. On medium speed, whisk until soft peaks form (about 3-5 minutes), then bump up the speed to high until it's shiny and stiff peaks have formed (about another 6 minutes).  
4. Replace the whisk attachment with the paddle attachment, and set the speed to LOW.  Slowly mix in the whipped butter.  IF you are going to add any flavoring to this (I wouldn't, but that's just me), make sure it's clear and go ahead and do it at this point.

Time to make the cookies!

1. Take half your hearts and flip them upside down on your work surface, so the flat side is facing up.
2. Put the filling into another ziplock back that has the corner cut out of it.  Pipe the filling onto the hearts, but be careful about how close to the edge you get!  I fill them about 3/4 of the way full.
3. Top those hearts with the remaining cookies, right side up.

That's all there is to it!  Your kids will LOVE these!  Especially the light, marshmallow-y filling.  Ooooh YUM!  Definitely not a diet food.  Which, yes, sucks.  Big time.


Cupid's Nipples (This is a variation on what I call Elf Nipples that I make at Christmas time.  I'm sure loads of people do.  They're easy, and they're YUM-O.)

Ingredients:
UNWRAPPED heart-shaped solid Hershey's chocolates (even better if you can find caramel-filled ones, but those are hard to find sometimes)
Red/pink/white M&Ms
Square pretzels (the kind that look like little square nets)

Directions:

1. Lay out the pretzels on a microwave-safe plate.
2. Place a chocolate heart onto each one.
3. Nuke for about 15-30 seconds, watching them so they don't melt too much.
4. Pull them out of the microwave, then IMMEDIATELY press an M&M into the center of each heart.
5. Let cool completely!

Heart Treats (Going to do one first, then give you several variations on this same exact theme)

Ingredients:
5 cups Rice Krispies
1 bag mini marshmallows
1/2 stick butter
few drops of red food coloring

Directions:

1. Melt the butter in a LARGE non-stick pot (or a pot that has been liberally sprayed with Pam or something along those lines).  Add in a few drops of red food coloring and mix until the butter turns red.  Don't worry about it being too dark, as it'll pink out as soon as you finish the next step.
2. Add in the marshmallows.  Stir until the marshmallows are liquid goodness.  If it's still too red, don't worry.  It'll pink out as soon as you finish the next step.
3. Add in your Rice Krispies, and mix completely.
4. Put some butter on your hands, as well as the inside of your heart-shaped cookie cutter.  Set the cookie cutter in the corner of a long piece of parchment paper.  You're going to work your way down the paper.
5. Spoon the Rice Krispie Treats into the middle of your cookie cutter, and press down until it's filled (yes, it's HOT, that's kind of the point here).  Pull off the cookie cutter and move down the way.  You'll have to re-butter your hands and the cookie cutter a little more than occasionally, but it's not too bad.  You'll need to work quickly, though.
6. When you're done, pat yourself on your back AFTER you've licked the last of the Rice Krispies off your poor, slightly singed hands. 
7. If you want to, you can also sprinkle these with little heart-shaped sprinkles, or red/pink/white candy beads, or whatever other festive thing you can think of.  I've been known to drizzle them with melted chocolate, too.  Or even dip them in chocolate.  The kids eat these up FAST!

As a variation on this theme, do the same thing with any kind of chocolate-flavored cereal (chocolate Cheerios, Count Chocula, Cocoa Puffs, whatever).  If you can find FrankenBerry cereal (I'm jealous), feel free to use that!  Just skip the red food coloring with these other variations.  

Well, that's pretty much all I have.  For this year, anyway.  Granted, these recipes ARE NOT figure-friendly for the most part.  The Wedding Soup isn't bad, but still...  But it's V-Day, so one day isn't going to kill you.

I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day this year.  Now go out and get your Better Half an awesome present.  You only have eight days.

And I'm already done with my shopping.

Calories Are NOT My Friends!

I mentioned the other day that I'm on a 1,500 calorie diet.  Most of the time, I would agree that 1,500 calories is not enough.

But it is for me.

Many times, I have been completely satisfied with the things I have eaten throughout the day.  In fact, there are times when I have to run out after dinner and go to someplace like Subway to pick up a 6" Turkey Breast on Wheat (with Pepper Jack, toasted, all the veggies except jalapenos and banana peppers as those are pickled and nasty) just to hit my 1,500 calories a day.  On those days?  Those are the best sandwiches IN THE WORLD.

So I have been perusing Pinterest lately (yes, I enjoy Pinterest.  You'd be surprised how many fellow Nerdists are on there!) and found something interesting.  A list of Negative Calorie or Zero Calorie Foods.

A Negative Calorie food is something that it takes MORE calories for your body to burn it off than what your body gets from it.  I thought it was a rather interesting list, so I thought maybe you'd like to have it as well:

• Apple
• Asparagus
• Beets
• Blueberries
• Broccoli
• Cranberries (bring on Thanksgiving!  w00t!) 
• Cantaloupe
• Carrots
• Celery
• Chicory (?  why would coffee be on here?)
• Cauliflower
• Cucumber
• Dandelion (really?  WHO EATS WEEDS?!?)
• Endive (pronounced "Ahn-Deeve" if you're snooty)
• Garden Cress
• Garlic (YESSS!!!  Keep those vampires away!)
• Grapefruit
• Green beans (so grass should be on there too)
• Honeydew
• Hot Chili Peppers (assuming you can get it down you--but I guarantee if you eat too many you'll pay for it in the morning!)
• Lemons
• Limes
• Lettuce (is ANYONE surprised by this?)
• Mango
• Onions
• Oranges
• Papaya (can you hear me?  Sorry.  Bad joke!)
• Peaches
• Pineapples
• Radish
• Raspberries
• Spinach (gross)
• Strawberries
• Tomatoes/Tomatoes (let's call the whole thing off!)
• Tangerines
• Turnips
• Watermelon
• Zucchini

Yes, I did alphabetize them.  I'm so OCD I prefer to be labelled CDO.

Aside from the few comments I made in the list, I'm feeling pretty good about things now.  I would caution you to eat your fruits BEFORE 2:00pm.  From what I've been reading, sugar--even fruit sugar--goes straight to your waistline if you eat it after 2:00pm.

And please, don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying these foods have zero calories in them.  For example, do you know how many calories are in an apple?  DEAR.  LORD!  In a CUP of apples, there are 73.8 calories.  True, your fat drops to practically negative (.2g), and your potassium goes way up (143.8mg), but where you need to watch it is in your carbs.  Apples have a buttload of carbs.

(Aside:  A buttload is a lot.  It falls somewhere between a Gross and a Ton).

Anyway, a cup of apples contains 19.1g of carbs.  So if you eat one, be careful about the bread you're putting in your mouth after you've eaten those apples.

Speaking of apples, I have a quick apple slaw recipe if you'd like to try it.  I recommend eating it in single cup increments until you've blown your whole weekend for carbs.  And you'll want to.  It's that good.  Even The Editor and the Cub Reporters love this!

Apple Slaw

Ingredients:

6 apples, julienned*

2 cups of grapes, cut in half

2 cups of shredded carrots**

4 tbsp apple cider vinegar

2 tbsp light mayo (can also use light Miracle Whip if you like)

salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1)  Julienne the apples.  This will take the most time.

2)  Cut the grapes in half.  This will be fairly quick, I hope.

3)  Mix the apples, grapes, and carrots together in a big bowl.

4)  Mix the apple cider vinegar and the light mayo, then pour over the apple/carrot/grapes mixture.

5)  Mix THOROUGHLY.

6)  Add a little sea or kosher salt, and a little pepper.

7)  Chill in a covered bowl before serving.  The vinegar should help prevent the apples from turning brown, but you should still cover it up pretty good.

*First note:  Julienned simply means you've cut that sucker into matchstick-sized pieces.  This could take some time, but...  It's all worth it, right?  Also, for this recipe, I use three different kinds of apples (two of each kind). 

**Second note:  You can buy carrots already shredded.  I use the kind that have been julienned over the kind that are simply thinly sliced.

What Can I Cook With This?

Wow.  Talk about coincidences.

A couple weeks ago, there was absolutely nothing on TV (surprise surprise!), so, as we invariably do on a Saturday like that, we turn to the Food Network.  

Because I'm on a diet.

And nothing says "IN YOUR FACE, LOSER!" like being on a diet and being forced to watch Food Network.

The show that happened to be on was the Pioneer Woman (Ree Drummond) cooking show about Pantry Cooking.  I believe it was called Stocking Up.  I could be wrong, though.  That's the name of her post that goes with the show, so I'm going to assume that they're all the same thing and go with it.  OK?  OK.

I wish I had that kind of time and space to cook like she does, but I'm not Doctor Who, and there's not a TARDIS anywhere around, so...  I do what I can to get by.

Then, last Saturday, a friend of mine posted a picture of the inside of her refrigerator on Facebook.  It was mostly bare, but it had a few things sitting on the shelves.  What I could see was a jar of jelly, two cartons of some kind of berries, a carton of cherry/grape tomatoes (I couldn't tell which), an opened bottle of wine, some hot dog buns, some butter, some ketchup, some coffee creamer, a jug of (possibly) tea, and some mustard.

And she wanted to know what she could make herself for breakfast.

I will admit, there's not a lot going on there.

Someone did say she could make a "poor man's sandwich" out of the buns, ketchup, and butter.  But that's just not right (IMO).

Here's what I suggested.  And, no, it's not located anywhere on my diet.  So if you're on a diet, I don't recommend it.

1. Put the berries, some wine, and a quarter cup of sugar into a saute pan, and simmer until the sugar has dissolved and the berries are starting to burst.
2. Take 1 tsp corn starch, mix it with a little cold water, then stir into the berries until it becomes thick and bubbly, then reduce the heat to low (just to keep it warm).
3. Take one of the hot dog buns (or two or whatever she wanted to use), butter them, sprinkle with a little cinnamon and sugar, and broil for just a minute to toast them.
4. Spoon some of the warm berry compote over the toasted hot dog buns, and it's one heck of a breakfast!

Shortly after, I saw that Pioneer Woman had put a list of Stocking Up items on her website, and posted it to Facebook.  This got me to thinking that, hey, what are the bare minimum of ingredients you can have to making some incredible dishes?  Those things that you might be down to the last of, have no clue what you're going to do with, and it's still a day or two away from Pay Day and you still need to eat something?

Here's some quick and easy recipes I've come up with.  And please note, these aren't necessarily something I'd consider "diet food."  Some are, but not all of them.

All Day Chicken Noodle Soup

Ingredients:

2-3 Frozen chicken breasts

2 dried-out carrots (or 8 dried-out baby carrots--you know, the ones with the white stuff on them?), diced

1 medium yellow or white onion, diced

That limp celery that's still in the back of your crisper (as long as it's NOT slimy!), thinly sliced

salt

pepper

bay leaf or 1 tsp dried oregano

1 tsp garlic powder (you can use garlic salt instead, but DO NOT add the regular salt if you do!)

any kind of pasta you have on hand anywhere

Directions:

1. In a slow cooker, place the chicken breasts, carrots, onion, and celery.  Put enough water in it to just cover the ingredients--you don't want too much water in there.
2. Drop in the bay leaf/dried oregano and garlic powder/salt, and salt/pepper (remember:  if you use garlic salt, DO NOT use regular salt here!)
3. Cook on low all day long while you're at work.
4. When you get home, boil a pot of water, add in a little salt, and then drop in your pasta to boil.
5. While the pasta is cooking, take some kitchen shears and chunk up your cooked chicken breasts into bite-sized (or smaller) pieces.
6. Drain your pasta, and drop/stir it into the chicken and veggies in the Crock Pot.
7. Serve immediately.

That's it!  That's all there is to it!  Oh!  And one more thing:  If you happen to have an old cube of chicken bouillon in a jar somewhere in the back of your cabinet, feel free to drop it into the Crock Pot in the morning, but DO NOT use salt if you do.  Unless you like salt.  Then use as much of it as you want.

"Fresh" Tomato Soup (assuming you don't have a can of Campbell's sitting in your cupboard)

Ingredients:

1 large can tomato sauce

1 large can diced/stewed/whole tomatoes

2 tbsp tomato paste

3/4 cup water

dried oregano

garlic powder/salt to taste

salt (if you're NOT using garlic salt) and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Put everything into a pot on the stove, turn it to medium, and let simmer.  If you're using stewed or whole tomatoes, chop 'em up in the pot with some kitchen shears.
2. Serve hot, preferably with a grilled cheese sandwich.

This is quick, it's easy, and it's not too terrible.  Even the Cub Reporters enjoy this!

Pasta with Buttercream Sauce

Ingredients:

Enough pasta to feed your family

1/4 cup butter

1/4 cup milk

dried oregano

garlic powder/salt to taste

salt (if you're NOT using garlic salt) and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Boil some water, put some salt in it, and add the pasta (if you're using spaghetti/linguini/something long and thin like that, break it up as best you can).
2. When the pasta is done, drain it.
3. While the pasta is draining, put the butter, milk, and spices in the pot, stirring until the butter is completely melted and everything is incorporated.
4. Put the pasta back into the pot, and stir to coat everything.
5. Because this is all you had in your refrigerator, make plans to go to the store AS SOON AS YOU CAN.

Yes, people, I've been there, too.  I've looked into the abyss that is my refrigerator/pantry/freezer and thought "Lord Jesus, please help me figure out something I can feed these kids using this box of bisquick and some ketchup!" before.  It's pretty amazing what you can do when Jesus is your sous chef!  After all, if He can feed 5,000 on a few loaves of bread and a couple fish...